The Re-Animator And The Return Of The Living Dead

FA Cup 4th Round
Old Trafford 
Sunday, 29th January, 2017
Manchester United 4 (Fellaini, 44', Smalling 57', Mkhitaryan 74', Schweinsteiger 81') Wigan 0

Dr. Jose 'Frankenstein' Mourinho has developed a recent knack for experimenting. And like most scientists can attest, the results often vary. There are usually numerous set-backs before, if fortunate, the eureka moment finally arrives. Sweet tooth Pharmacist, John Pemberton, with the help of one Willis E. Venable, dabbled with coca leaves, kola nut, damiana and  base syrup with carbonated water and eventually found the formula now popularly known as 'Coca-Cola'. They (and their descendants) have been winning ever since.

Italian football scientist, Antonio Conte also has a tried and tested formula which has so far been bearing joyful fruit in London. It's a 3-5-2 formation which relies on strong and speedy full-backs as well as two box-to-box midfielders in a now 3-man midfield. Conte's formula also brought consistent success/results for him with Siena, Juventus and the Azzuri. He keeps at it...

Then on the flip side, there's 'Dr. Pepper' Guardiola who hasn't looked that much a genius with his recent experiments particularly when he doesn't have premium controlled samples (i.e. Messi, Iniesta, Xavi or the best team in a mono-league) to use in the treatment group. But that's a story for another day... 

Dr. Mourinho was uncharacteristically late in discovering his strongest line-up and formation with the team which he eventually settled on by December 2016. A clear tactical pattern had emerged and the results and performances were much improved. Agreed, the team would need to be rotated to avoid early season burn-out and fatigue but the style and structure should remain solid. There would be no need to re-invent the wheel.

It was therefore with great bewilderment that I viewed the formation of the team put out yesterday. Yes, the fringe players needed to be given a run in the team and certain first teamers were also in need of rest but the issue however was with where the personnel were made to play. In what turned out to be a horrible 1st half against a spirited Wigan side, Martial was playing as a central striker (everyone knows he's fire from the left), Rooney, 10 (Didn't we all agree not to do this is our general meeting? For obvious reasons?), Mikki 10 1/2 (He wasn't directly supporting Shaw on the left but was playing alongside Rooney) and Mata 7 1/2 (It's bad enough he has to play on the right but this?).  

Switch Rooney to 9, Martial to 11, Mata to 10 and Mikki to the right and its problem solved. And this has nothing to do with being a John Glenn or major character in 'Hidden Figures'(or is it 'Hidden Fences'? Lol).

It's so frustrating when the basic is made this complicated and my thinking was that this was restricted to just Paul Pogba! 

Enter the 2nd half, the necessary changes were made and a further 3 goals were scored. More importantly, the football began to resemble not just the holiday-season-United but also the Ferguson-peak-years-United. Mikki's goal in particular, was almost carbon copy on one of those goals of the Ronaldo/Rooney/Tevez trident era. Fantastic counter attacking football. Easy, wasn't it?

Which brings me to the other goal scorers...Ah, dry bones shall indeed rise again. Even a broken clock is right at least twice a day. Mourinho continues to eke out Samson-ite last exertions from the hitherto cast-aways. Bastian Schweinsteiger, who started the season with the reserves and was told in no uncertain terms by the gaffer that he did not have a place in this team, scored a good goal and provided an even better assist. This was his 2nd game and first start this season. His performance in the 1st half ,where he confined himself to the circumference of the centre circle all while pointing and barking out instructions like a traffic warden reminded me of why I despised him last season. Lazy. He was however pretty much champagne in the 2nd half and I still don't understand why he singularly gets so much unconditional love from Old Trafford even though this performance, at least, deserved it. It's been reported that he will be included in the Europa squad and there's ordinarily no reason why a player of his reputation and experience cannot be an adequate filler for the evergreen Michael Carrick. Long may it continue...

Fellaini again did effectively what Fellaini does - which is being tall and making a veritable nuisance of himself in the opponent's box. A firmly placed header set the ball rolling late in the 1st half and sections of the crowd even applauded him when he was substituted for Ander Herrara. God bless their good hearts...

Smalling got the 2nd goal with also a good header. Asides that, he was typically jittery and uncomfortable in possession. Wigan, fortunately, did not have enough quality to take advantage of this glaring amour chink. Still can't wait to have Bailly back.

I'm sorry, forgive the necromancy analogy but except I can see a trend of improved performance from these chaps, a zombie, however life-like, will still remain a zombie to me.

All in all, it was a good performance on the balance of both halves. Fosu-Mensah was decent but he's no Valencia (but he's thankfully no Darmian either), Rojo, I thought, was fantastic and Martial and Mhkitaryan were our best players. Shaw also had a decent game and it was nice to see Tuanzebe finally get his senior team debut. 

I would just be much more happier if Mourinho doesn't have to be so experimental and reactive all the time. Save the experiments for when the game has been won and not before. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It could be the difference between a trophy/top 4 this season and regret. 

Next is Hull City (again) in the league on Wednesday. Jon Moss is not the referee. Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Signing Out...

B.L

In Other News:

* Outside Manchester United victories, there are few things in the world of sport that give me unbridled joy - Watching Messi play, Pacquiao box, Usain sprint, Ali talk, Curry shoot, Rousey get beat and a Roger 'Greatest Of All Time' Federer forehand.

My predictions came to pass and the 35-year old master won an unlikely record-extending 18th Grand Slam against his career nemesis, the excellent Rafael Nadal in what was in many ways a historic final. As the great man quaintly put it, "Tennis is a tough sport...there's no draws but if there was, I'll be happy to share it with Rafa tonight." Class. Class. Class. And Class. Viva RF!

* Again as predicted, Serena Williams won. 23 Grand Slams. Most in the Open era. Ever. And in a more competitive field. And she's not done yet. What's the argument again? Steffi what?

* Who is going to introduce the HawkEye to Spain?

* Drip...Drop...Klopp...