DEFINITIONS & MUSINGS ON THE 2017/18 UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE…

A trend \’trend\  noun,  can be described as “an inclination in a particular direction”, “a line of general direction or movement” or “a current style or preference”.

Manchester United has drawn a league-leading 9 times in the league. Equal with Middlesborough who lie in the 15^th position, 2 points above the relegation places. 6 of those draws have come at Old Trafford. Stoke, Burnley, West Ham and now, Hull are some of the recipients of valuable points at our home ground.

In each of these games, the goalkeepers of the opposing sides suddenly develop super-human abilities and become impenetrable fortresses. Rather oddly, they are usually rendered mortal in the next game against any sort of decent (and even sometimes ‘indecent’) opposition. There must be some sort of secret goalkeeping Kryptonite formula fellow campaigners are not sharing…

In each of these games, we were the ‘better’ team. Read we had more possession of the ball and had more shots at goal (not necessarily ‘on target’) than the opposition.

Again, we are usually desperately ‘unlucky’ in these games and have questionable refereeing and ethical decisions against the team and the manager over the course of 90 minutes.

There is a now consistent failure to take advantage whenever any of our title/top 4 rivals slip-up.

A fact \’fakt\ noun is “an actual occurrence”, “a piece of information presented as having objective quality” or “something which is real”.

Manchester United has won just less than half of its 23 league games (11) and has consequently remained in 6^th position for over 2 months. This is not Champion League-place form.

If neither Zlatan nor Mata score, it is not very likely we win.

Akin to wastage only seen in bathing soap bubble bath advert scenes, the United team has been horribly deficient in scoring goals despite regularly creating good to excellent chances. I’m not sure which is more frustrating – the lack of ability to create chances under the Van Gaal regime or the ability to create but squander under Jose. (The outcome is the same either way so does it even matter?).

Rashford is absolute rubbish as a left sided attacker cum winger. As previously and severally mentioned, having blinding pace and fair-enough finishing does not qualify a player to play on the wings. While the former attribute is always an advantage, close control, delivery and timing are essential for that role. Rashford loses his dribble too many times to count (21 times yesterday against Hull actually. More than any player on the field), has a fair-to-decent delivery but has recently developed(?) atrocious timing in delivering(that word again) his final passes. He always takes that EXTRA dribble or cut back and the chance is almost always immediately snuffed. This is not a one-off. It has become a trend. Which brings me to…

Madness.  \’mad-nes\ noun. Also known as “Insanity”. Some have described it as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Mad Hatter: “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

“No, I give it up” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea” said the Hatter”           

-     Lewis Carroll, ‘Alice in Wonderland’.

That’s Madness.

Madness is also continually playing the aforementioned Rashford on the left in spite of the glaring evidence that he is not yet best suited for that role. There are at least 2 other forwards that can play that role more effectively but the manager seems oblivious to this. There is a live and present danger of the lad becoming disillusioned with his performances and this can have greater repercussions over the course of his still formative career.

In a match begging for a bit more zip in our attacking play, introducing a slow Wayne Rooney for a very slow conservative Michael Carrick, was every bit mad. Basically, you’re replacing a player with another player who is not as good in the same position. Kinda ‘Less for Like’ instead of ‘Like for Like’. It was therefore no surprise that the attacking was continued to be mostly horizontal, side to side rather than direct or vertical. After all 3 substitutions were made, we had Zlatan, Mata and Rooney, all slow, as three-quarters of our attacking quartet. Rashford, discussed above, was the fourth. It became quite clear at a point that except Hull was going to fortuitously help us put the ball into the net or some sort of gratuitous free kick/penalty was given (which Mata and Zlatan also realised and thereafter desperately but comically fought for), there was no goal to be had.

I will purge my fingers later for typing this but even Fellaini would have been a more useful weapon under the circumstances. At least there would be the unpretentious option of lumping the ball forward and hoping for the best disco elbows and all…

Madness is also holding the kind of post-match interviews the gaffer held yesterday. In parts rambling, childish, deflective and mean, there was simply no reason to resort to that sort of degenerate behaviour not least when you are the primary architect of your frustrations. The greatest troll since a Philistine named Goliath, he couldn’t resist a dig at Klopp and his sworn enemy, Wenger over issues that even if true, had no bearing on the performance on the day. It’s the dark side of the manager that rears its ugly head when things don’t go his way and from what I understand, there’s some sort of potential disciplinary sanction waiting around the corner. Which further and finally brings me to…

Pride. \’prid\ noun. In the Yoruba language, it’s called ‘Igberaga’ literally translated to mean ‘lifting one’s self up’ connoting pompousness or haughtiness. It is also defined as “insolence or arrogance of demeanour”.

Anthony Martial is one of the best players in the team. Anthony Martial is THE best left sided attacker in the team. Anthony Martial was yoga flame in his last game (particularly when he was switched back to his favourite left position). Before that game, he went on a short break and came back fresh. Anthony Martial is young and as such does not need a lengthy time as the more ‘mature’ players to recover from knocks and injuries. Anthony Martial is not injured.

Why is Jose Mourinho not playing Anthony Martial???

The excuse he previously gave was that Martial had to do better to be deserving of a place in the starting line up if not it would ‘kill’ other players who were excluded but perhaps more deserving. On the strength of the evidence before us, there should be reports of a mass suicide in the dressing room.

Agreed, his agent may have spoken out of turn in suggesting that the boy was considering other club career options (but isn’t that what agents do including Mourinho’s?) but this was predicated on the position that he had become a bench warmer even though this was justifiable at that time as his form had gone south. He has however picked up and has been one of the team’s most electric and effective performers over the last 2 months.

Personal pride and arrogance should not be primary determinant in selecting your strongest line-up particularly with so much at stake. The team was correctly (and dangerously) rotated over the festive season leading into the busy January fixtures and it is fair to assume that the players are relatively fresh and fit. The manager has said as much himself. After the results on Tuesday, the responsibility was to play the possible strongest line up and preferably send the contest to bed early. Experiments can be carried out thereafter. Madness is flattening a tire on your hitherto smooth driving car to see how it performs on 3 legs. On the express road. (Indeed, every experiment has a certain level of madness prompting it.)

I'm not one to primarily blame the manager over the players as the players are after all the performance artists (no manager can teach Mata and Rashford, at separate instances yesterday, how to put the ball into the net. None), but the manager is nonetheless responsible for the set-up of his team. Mourinho is currently failing in this department. Jose should take a honest look at his selections and choices over the last couple of games and realise that he can do a lot better. If the team wins, he wins. It’s not about the journalists, media analysts, naysayers or the Einsteins. Or agents. He sometimes seems to prefer the mind games with the press and opposing managers over the actual opposition. It is of utmost importance that he snaps out of this Sisyphean battle and objectively attend to the task before him.

In a match with very little redeeming value (Apart from Jones, there was no player I would give 6 out of 10 marks. Pogba wasn't bad: He was even worse - irrelevant. And Zlatan had one of those games where if he doesn't score you wonder what he was doing on the pitch for 90 minutes), a bright spot could be that after all is said and done, United remains 'just' 4 points behind the UCL places and 5 points behind 2nd position. Clearly, all is not lost. 

But the fact is that there is a worrying trend of profligacy which can only be termed as madness, the genesis often derived from the prideful emotions of the manager. Except there's a radical change, there may be no need to get rid of some of the dead weight in the summer - they would be useful for the gruelling Europa League which is the level we seem to be playing at this time. Heavens forbid...

Let's start with a performance against the Champions (straight face) on Sunday. Oh, and congrats on the last minute January signing...

Signing out,

B.L...

In Other News:

* Chelsea is like the old lady in 'The Lady Killers' - All attempts to kill her only bring about the demise of one of the conspirators. A draw against Liverpool meant their lead at the top was extended to 9 points due to the  failure of Akirsenal and Paw-paw ochettino to narrow the gap. Champions-elect?

* 'Hot' Totti, 40 did what Diego Costa, (allegedly) 28, could not do by converting a penalty to give his side, Roma a 2-1 win over relegation threatened Seria B club, Cesena in the Coppa Italia. They are now in the semis.

* Usain Bolt now has 9 Olympic Gold Medals due to Nesta Carter's inability to properly read prescription drugs. Hashtag Say No To Group Assignments.

*Breaking - It's the Indomitable Lions v the Pharaohs in the African Cup Of Nations Final. Who would you place your bets on?